literature

Insult to Injury

Deviation Actions

NoOtherKing's avatar
By
Published:
373 Views

Literature Text

Insult to injury. That's what that stupid wizard did to me. Added insult to injury.

As if transforming my beautiful face into this hideous, hairy mug wasn't enough, he put up posters. Introducing the Cowardly Lion! How many princesses do you know who will believe a talking escaped circus lion who claims to be a prince under a spell? And the blasted wizard didn't even have the decency to monologue properly while he was casting his spell, so I can't even be certain that a kiss from a princess will break it!

Of course, all of my research to date indicates that a princess' kiss will break this enchantment quite nicely, but one can never be too careful. If only I could find a princess who would be willing to try it! I mean, how bad could kissing a lion really be?

I had a brief glimmer of hope when that Dorothy girl came along. True, she wasn't technically a princess, but I joined her questing party, and fable dictates that would qualify perfectly, seeing as she would have become a princess had we married. (Ha! As though I would marry a commoner. And one from Kansas, at that!)

But no! The very wizard she was looking for turned out to be none other than the wizard who cursed me! The dratted ma  had moved to the city to drum up more business with his "Wonderful Wizard" gig. And then, he had the audacity to tell me that he wasn't a proper wizard at all, and he didn't know how to change me back! Ha! Who ever heard of a fake wizard turning a prince into a lion by accident? No one, that's who!

And now I'm stuck with a brainless scarecrow, and a ridiculous man made of tin who both refuse to leave me alone! Every time I tell them to take a hike, they link arms and start skipping, singing about yellow roads, green cities, and bears. It's almost enough to turn me into a vegetarian, or whatever sort of -arian would eat a scarecrow and a tin man.

Not that I would actually eat something made of aluminum. I can't risk my rakishly handsome grin. I'll need it when I'm myself again. Besides, tin wreaks havoc with a lion's digestion.

I only hope that I will be myself again soon. I must win the hand of a fair princess! Or perhaps that Witch of the South could be of assistance. I hear she's very helpful, as long as the Witch of the North doesn't show up, and provided the Wicked Witch of the West doesn't go melting on me again any time soon.

This ghastly land of Oz! Next time, I go holidaying in Narnia.
Wizard of Oz meets Princess and the Frog! Sort of...

Any typos? Italics hurt or help? Suggestions/complaints? How does the character of the prince come across?

Critique: [link]
© 2012 - 2024 NoOtherKing
Comments10
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
WishingUnderThatStar's avatar
Your wonderful work has been chosen to be featured in Friday Feature Volume II :la: